Reminds me of something a depth psychologist once told me, a man in a very happy ~20-year marriage: "Oh, each week I break up with my partner-- in my mind, that is."
Breathtaking. As someone who also struggles with PMDD I am all too familiar with the feeling of regularly wanting to burn one’s life to the ground or else find some way to escape it. It’s excruciating, and unfortunately for me birth control is the only way I can feel somewhat normal. I hate having to depend on it, but I am glad that it’s being talked about more, at least. Never even knew there was a specific diagnosis for why I felt this way until a year ago or so.
This line is staying with me: “I mean, how can the thing that keeps me from destroying my life be the same thing I’m craving when I dream of destruction?”
and thank YOU for sharing your experience. PMDD is so isolating, and it’s always comforting to know people *get it*, even if you hate to hear others are suffering, too. Sending lots of love ❤️
It's funny. You published this ten days before I lost my son and grief shattered me into pieces. I came across it today, in the middle of one of those times when the grief hit me like no time has passed. I guess sometimes we get the bad kind of lucky and other people's art finds us when we need it to. Thanks again.
Just seeing this comment somehow. I am so sorry to read of the loss of your son. What a terrible, unfair tragedy... I sincerely hope you have a good support system through this. And my email’s always open if you need a place to vent dia@brokebutmoisturized.com
I’ve read this 3 separate times and it always haunts m. Like you’ve dug into my brain and figured out a way to explain it. I haven’t been formally diagnosed with PMDD, but am fearful (maybe relieved actually?) that I do have it. I relate to being a knitter, but man do I want to a-bomb my life sometimes. Last week leading up to my cycle I said aloud to friends at dance “the only things in my life I don’t want to quit are my marriage and tap dancing”. Then I remember I can’t only live for myself and I keep the needles working. Whhhhheeew thank you for this.
It’s truly both a relief and a nightmare to know it’s there, silently running your life. Sending so much love as you share this complex experience ❤️❤️❤️
"If I’m going to look stupid, then I want it to be on my terms."
I want that on my headstone
Shit, me too
We can go halfsies on a headstone if you want. Heck, I'd split a coffin too
The way I can actually see us doing this....
Four people in four years: brutal.
Kudos for the guts and courage to keep showing up.
Much appreciated ❤️ truly one day at a time
Reminds me of something a depth psychologist once told me, a man in a very happy ~20-year marriage: "Oh, each week I break up with my partner-- in my mind, that is."
This was fucking epic, Dia.
Incredible how that guy is all of us, hahaha. Much, much appreciated ☺️
Breathtaking. As someone who also struggles with PMDD I am all too familiar with the feeling of regularly wanting to burn one’s life to the ground or else find some way to escape it. It’s excruciating, and unfortunately for me birth control is the only way I can feel somewhat normal. I hate having to depend on it, but I am glad that it’s being talked about more, at least. Never even knew there was a specific diagnosis for why I felt this way until a year ago or so.
This line is staying with me: “I mean, how can the thing that keeps me from destroying my life be the same thing I’m craving when I dream of destruction?”
Thank you for this. 🤍
and thank YOU for sharing your experience. PMDD is so isolating, and it’s always comforting to know people *get it*, even if you hate to hear others are suffering, too. Sending lots of love ❤️
Couldn’t agree more. Sending love right back xx
Book recommendation:
Writers' Retreats: Literary Cabins, Creative Hideaways, and Favorite Writing Spaces of Iconic Authors https://a.co/d/0LASxhu
Totally checking this out- thank you 😍
In thorns roses bloom.
❤️❤️❤️
Thanks for making me feel seen today.
It's funny. You published this ten days before I lost my son and grief shattered me into pieces. I came across it today, in the middle of one of those times when the grief hit me like no time has passed. I guess sometimes we get the bad kind of lucky and other people's art finds us when we need it to. Thanks again.
Just seeing this comment somehow. I am so sorry to read of the loss of your son. What a terrible, unfair tragedy... I sincerely hope you have a good support system through this. And my email’s always open if you need a place to vent dia@brokebutmoisturized.com
If you want to know what it looks like to purposely bomb your life. Read my stories. Start with gutter boss.
It will solve all the mystery. Then you can make a more informed decision ;)
On it! 😎
I’ve read this 3 separate times and it always haunts m. Like you’ve dug into my brain and figured out a way to explain it. I haven’t been formally diagnosed with PMDD, but am fearful (maybe relieved actually?) that I do have it. I relate to being a knitter, but man do I want to a-bomb my life sometimes. Last week leading up to my cycle I said aloud to friends at dance “the only things in my life I don’t want to quit are my marriage and tap dancing”. Then I remember I can’t only live for myself and I keep the needles working. Whhhhheeew thank you for this.
It’s truly both a relief and a nightmare to know it’s there, silently running your life. Sending so much love as you share this complex experience ❤️❤️❤️
Love this piece so much, Dia
Thank you so much, babe ❤️🔥❤️🔥
This comment was its own literature and I thank you immensely for sharing, and for taking the time with my work. 🫶🏼
Thank you so much for reading 😍 just subscribed to your newsletter- can’t wait to see what’s in store