Your dream lover is a hoax. Stop playing yourself and embrace the bad facial hair and unmade beds that sneak into your life. You can log off. You can let your phone die and throw the charger out the window doing 90 down the highway and not post about each global crisis and still be a good, compassionate, reliable person.
Had to send this one to a friend. Great post. When you told me not to pick my face, my nails were right on top of a scab. Stay out of my bathroom!