Daily Drip

Trader Joe's cookies, summer trail running as spiritual purification, neutral nails as respite, etc.

Eating: A cookie from Trader Joe’s called “These Sprinkles Walk Into a Sandwich.” First of all, I feel insane typing that. Makes me think of those memes that are like “imagine trying to explain this to a pilgrim.” Secondly, this cookie is probably a class 1 carcinogen/illegal in 12 states. Nonetheless, if you know me, you know that they will bury me clutching some birthday cake flavored snack. Lordy.

Reading: I’ve been gatekeeping my reads lately because I don’t want anyone to pick up on my influences, i.e., learn that I’m just another derivative schmuck with a Substack  ;-) but I will tell you I just read Less Than Zero by Bret Easton Ellis. And I will tell you that my therapist challenged me to something he’s “tried doing for years,” which is to write a version of that book set in rural Pennsylvania. I don’t know if I’m up to the challenge or even particularly keen on it, but I love having such a specific fire lit under my ass. Writers should push each other into random exercises more often. Now, which one of you will write the Lana Del Rey cento I’ve been attempting for months? Go!

Thinking: I was running alone through the woods of Wissahickon Valley Park over the weekend, a red Gatorade sliding between my sweaty palms, alternating hands every few strides. It was a short run. Four miles. I could feel myself getting cooked by the sun on stretches of thin canopy, but if Andrew wasn’t waiting for me at the trailhead, I would have run forever because all I could think was… this is it. This is what it’s all about. 

The harder it got, the more it became a religious act of self-denial. Extreme heat melts endorphins down to something inaccessible and you are left on that remote island beyond comfort and pleasure. I think it’s more intimately understood by trail and/or ultra runners (to whom I aspire) because they are generally a.) off their rockers radical people, and b.) good stewards of the planet, and thus, the universe thanks them with brushes of transcendence.

Idk. I get to a point every summer where all I want is to be in the woods, pounding soft dirt and gravel. My family camps at different state parks around Pennsylvania from Memorial Day to Halloween so I think I just have that need for wilderness in my bones. And when I find myself indulging a bit too heavily in modernity’s sweet treats—instant gratification, excessive alcohol, food like “These Sprinkles Walk Into a Sandwich” cookies, quick takes, materialism, doomscrolling, obsessing over my appearance, etc.—running bitch slaps me back into The Bigger Picture. I love it I love it I FUCKIN LOVE IT!!!

July check-in: I celebrated my 33rd birthday on the 8th. Unsurprisingly, I went to Wissahickon with Andrew and Mousse, then out for dinner at an Italian BYO with my girlfriends where I ordered mafaldine (one of my favorite pasta shapes) with pesto and a huge ball of burrata in the middle. It was such a lovely day filled with laughter and nature. Andrew got me a *signed copy* of A Book of Common Prayer which was probably the coolest gift I’ve ever received and said “I wish it was your birthday every day” which will stick with me forever.

There is so much change afoot. My nephew turned 10 and started football. One of my best friends moved to Asbury Park yesterday. Andrew and I are moving over the next couple weeks. Friends are starting new jobs, navigating break-ups. It feels like this life we’ve all built together in Philly is fading out and it’s equal parts somber and exciting. I’ve lived here for eight years, Andrew for 13. And so much of my time here has felt like spinning my wheels, like I’m not where I’m meant to be, but don’t know where that is, either. Trying to step into this next chapter with a playful, curious, open heart.

Things that made me smile: 1.) This instagram post from Celestial Tea. They’ve revived that goofy spirit of 2010s brand social in a way that actually doesn’t feel sinister (maybe because it’s tea). I remember joining Twitter in college, aspiring to be the freak behind the Wendy’s account or some shit. Thank you, Celestial Tea, for keeping the dream alive.

2.) This picture of Mousse. He’s so good at looking like a stuffed animal. I was showing this photo to strangers at the bar last Friday.

Listening to: “Members Only” by Drake & PARTYNEXTDOOR. This track is doing a lot for me. I’ve resisted the last few Drake albums because I do, indeed, miss the old Drake (girl, don’t tempt me), but maybe he’s still in there, hiding under the sculpted folds of BBL Drizzy. Some other stuff on loop for me lately:

• The new $uicideboy$ album. So prolific, those two. They keep me fed.

• “Everything is romantic” by Charli XCX. Love the hypnotic, cyborgian chant of “fall in love again and again”; it kept playing in my head as I walked through Nordstrom Rack last week, spoiling myself with discount goodies for my birthday. That said, I am merely using this as an opportunity to admit that the Brat hype has become grating to me. I’m so sorry. I am one sped-up GRWM TikTok set to “365” away from detonating the vest and I DON’T EVEN HAVE TIKTOK ON MY PHONE!

• James Taylor’s 1970 album, Sweet Baby James. Resurrection from death by hyperpop.

Just purchased: I will not shut up about this skirt from Old Navy. I needed some work clothes for the heat wave and this skirt is breezy, 100% cotton joy. I recommend sizing down. It pairs wonderfully with this tank that hits at the perfect spot. Yeah, I guess I’m in my Old Navy era. Fuck.

What I wore: We went on a double date for tapas the other week and I opted for this cute top with a high neckline and cut-out, ruched sides (it’s old so I have no link for you). I love this top. It’s a proper “going out” top of which I do not own many—very comfortable and makes me feel sexy/classy/at ease. This polka dot skirt from Reformation (s/o my coworkers for the gift card) + these heels from Everlane which I have had for like, three years and never wear.

Loving: Neutral nails. I can’t believe I’m saying this??? I normally gravitate toward purples, blues, reds, etc. but last month, I got a french manicure and this month, it’s OPI’s “Put It in Neutral.” I’ve deduced that because life is so chaotic for me right now, a simple nail has an almost sedative effect. A kind of respite I can tap into just by looking down. I’ve also been wearing less color and jewelry, which is not very me. I think I’m onto something…

A meme, for your careful consideration:

 (… I couldn’t agree more)