56 Comments
User's avatar
Catherine Shannon's avatar

"Now that I have a daughter, I’m determined to tame the wild thing that it is, my sadness, and live with it in a way that feels freeing for us all."

Takes so much strength to do this. What a beautiful tribute to your sister.

Dia Lupo's avatar

❤️❤️❤️ from one mom to another

Isabel Cowles Murphy's avatar

I remember her boy from your wedding photos. You wrote about her passing, and the way it happened, but somehow I forgot. I'm glad you wrote it again--with the reminder that things working out is the exception. This time of year is already so hefty, so languid and oppressive and yet also filled with miracles. I won't forget again.

Dia Lupo's avatar

Languid and oppressive. Perfect. ❤️💔

Sudana Krasniqi's avatar

all the way sad and will be thinking of you, Dawn and baby B all August long

I love you

Dia Lupo's avatar

We love you so much ❤️‍🩹

Shannon's avatar

This is so beautiful and broke my heart for you and Dawn. I was taken aback when I saw her name, Dawn Marie. My cousin Dawn Marie, a true 80s Jersey girl, passed away at 21 just a few months after your sister was born. I was a baby and don’t remember her, but the name Dawn has always been spoken like a prayer in my family. I’ll think of your beautiful sister now whenever I hear it.

Dia Lupo's avatar

This breaks my heart and brings me comfort ❤️ All Dawn Maries surely go to heaven

American Woman 1984's avatar

“You didn’t need to read that but I needed to write it. I’m stuck in the hot throat of August until I say those words and make myself remember. Let August hawk me like a loogie into September.”

Hitting. Thanks.

Dia Lupo's avatar

❤️❤️❤️ thank you so much for reading

Jenovia 🕸️'s avatar

Sending you and Dawn so much love today and always. She looks so much like your mama! As a fellow girl that was born happy and made sad, I felt this in my grief plasma. Thank you. ❤️‍🔥

Dia Lupo's avatar

My moms twin fr 🥲❤️❤️ and you’ll always be my sister in this way

Jenovia 🕸️'s avatar

Por vida!

sarah cucchiara's avatar

i love u so much. this was so beautiful to read and i could feel your love for Dawn in the words. sending you a million hugs 🤍🤍

Dia Lupo's avatar

Hugging right back- love you angel ❤️❤️❤️

Jasmin's avatar

I am so sorry for the loss of your sister and for the pain you carry. I know what it's like to have a loss that tears up the fabric of your life, and I'm so moved by how you're looking to live with the sadness. All my love to you x

Dia Lupo's avatar

So much love ❤️

Bob Graham's avatar

Beautiful, Dia. These kids force us to reckon with our sadness, no matter how we got to it.

Dia Lupo's avatar

Truest words. ❤️

Katrina Donham's avatar

I don't claim to know your sadness specifically, but I am familiar with it. I lost my only brother when he was just 14. Suicide. This year marked a decade since he crossed over to the Otherside. I'm so sorry for your loss, Dia. A sibling can never be replaced. Thank you for sharing her story, for immortalizing her with your words. Your daughter is already learning so much from you!

Dia Lupo's avatar

Oh my god. The heartbreak. I can’t think of anything sadder than someone that young taking their life. I can only imagine the last decade has been a journey in grief. I appreciate you ❤️

Katrina Donham's avatar

Thank you, Dia. I love how you are claiming your sadness--"taming the wild thing"--because, yes, it's a part of you. It always will be. And, I think that's beautiful to show your daughter, that example. It's what I aspire to do for my own daughters. I appreciate you, too!

ryan elizabeth peete's avatar

this is a phenomenal essay and u have gained a new subscriber

Dia Lupo's avatar

Omg you made my day 🥲

Isabella Rosario's avatar

this cut me open. Dawn sounds like she was a force and still is. you & baby girl are lights in this world. (I know I just used three cliches, but sometimes they're the most efficient way to say the true thing.) wishing you tenderness in these last few days of august

Dia Lupo's avatar

I hate knowing you’re in this very specific subset of grief with me cuz it’s hell. But all the cliches apply ❤️❤️❤️ always thinking of you and your brother

C.S. Mee's avatar

Wondering how the hell she ate this stuff. Beautiful

Dia Lupo's avatar

You know. Candy 🩷

Luisa's avatar

i teared up a couple of times reading this. you are such a gift, and i'm so grateful we have you on this website, dia. sending you and little b so much love <3

Dia Lupo's avatar

So much love right back to you babe ❤️❤️

Caroline Beuley's avatar

Wow Dia. I can't imagine what it must be like to lose a sister. This is a beautiful tribute to her, and I so admire your determination to be strong for your daughter. She's lucky to have you.

Dia Lupo's avatar

Appreciate this so much love ❤️

Caroline's avatar

Thinking of my mom and the ways she tamed her sadness for me. How blissfully unaware little Caroline was. Bianca Dawn is one lucky gal!

Dia Lupo's avatar

Mom things ❤️ we do it for our girls