People I Inherently Trust
One day over the summer, I was out hiking with my best friend Rachel when a female runner approached us for directions. Clad in neon and out of breath, she lost cell phone service and needed help getting back to her trail entrance. The three of us stood in the dense, shadowy woods while Rachel swiftly and sweetly became her human compass, offering up her phone for a little Google Maps-ing when words failed.
I found myself instantly flooded with panic. For the 2-minute duration of the exchange, I twiddled with my phone trying to remember the emergency SOS button combination for an iPhone with no service. There was nothing threatening about this 5’2, 35ish brunette… other than her CamelBak, which I anxiously envisioned toting a gun rather than some good, old-fashioned water. The second she ran in her right direction, all thanks to my helpful, easy-going friend, my nerves dissolved.
This incident was not unique for me. I’ve spent my entire life trapped in the padded mental walls of my own distrust. When my parents had friends over, I’d lock myself in my room until they left. It didn’t help that my mom didn’t let my sisters and I cross the street until we were like, 13. Evidently, my chance of developing into an unwary individual was lost early. In my adult life, I see this manifest in a variety of scenarios, like breaking up with boyfriends prematurely out of fear of being hurt, or simply guarding my cocktails for dear life at the bar while my friends whoop it up carefree. I may speak with you confidently, perhaps even charm you or love you, assert that we’re “soulmates” or “two peas in a pod,” but at the end of the day, I am scared of you, indiscriminately and irrevocably.
There are, however, certain people I inherently trust. They have qualities or behaviors or occupations that my brain files under “virtuous” for one reason or another. Behold the (incomplete) list and accompanying original illustrations by my boyfriend, Andrew:
Tea Drinkers
One of my working theories is that many people are lying to themselves about their anxiety, and that the source is actually coffee. I am one of those people. Tea drinkers exude peace. They appreciate the simple things and might have a vague interest in eastern cultures and alternative medicine. There’s literally a tea for every ail, and I trust the shit out of anyone who can provide at least one life solution via hot, wet bag o’leaves. While I’m slugging dark roast and sprinting on the treadmill to Skrillex, a girl named Willow who looks exactly like me is in child’s pose beside a steaming mug of chamomile, a guided meditation narrated by Deepak Chopra tickles the walls of her California studio.
Trader Joe’s Employees
I am admittedly late to the TJ’s game, only having shopped there the last year and a half. But within that short time, I’ve come to learn and love the cheery, offbeat folks who stock the shelves and run the registers. What makes you want to buy novelty groceries more than someone with blue hair in Doc Martens singing and dancing like their life depends on it down the cereal aisle??? I developed another theory when the pandemic hit that Trader Joe’s is our truest sign of goodness in humanity for their employees’ infectious ability to display both kindness and efficiency in times of crisis. They somehow make waiting in a line around the building, six feet apart a Sunday afternoon well spent. When Trader Joe’s employees ask you how your day is going, they seriously care.
Cat People
Crazy cat lady jokes are stale... except for when they’re cracked by crazy cat ladies themselves. Then they’re quirky comedic genius written with a quill pen on parchment before an expansive mahogany bookshelf. As the rare 50/50 split for preferring cats or dogs, I can objectively say that “dog people” are the lowest common denominator. You show me someone with a dog-related quip in their dating app bio and I’ll show you a basic ass mf. I trust “cat people” because they dare to be different. They don’t mind working for affection and can happily coexist with another creature without expectation. Cat people may be a bit lazier than dog people, but at least they’re self-aware enough to admit it.
People Who Wear Earth Tones
I don’t know who first coined the term grounded, but I’d suspect they wore head-to-toe brown or forest green. People who wear earth tones don’t care about standing out or seeking attention (not saying those things are bad!); they let mother nature shine and plan their palette accordingly. As someone who’d literally wear a pink feather boa to brunch just because, I simply can’t relate, and that alone makes me trust them. People who wear earth tones prefer smoking to drinking, save for that heady, autumnal ale from the brewery down the street with the jam bands on Saturdays. They wear practical shoes like Chacos and will tell you they’ve climbed El Cap within an hour of meeting. I trust people who wear earth tones because they aren’t slaves to consumerism (unless it’s REI) or the internet like me; they just hike and make art and move to Colorado and go vegan or whatever. Idk, I trust all that shit.
People Who Don’t Take Shots
Humans are anxious and awkward. Alcohol is chill and fun! When the two come together in celebration, some invisible confetti blinds us and before we know it, we’re ripping warm Jose Cuervo with a gooey sliver of lime. People who turn down shots have nothing to prove. They drink with European flair, which is to say they aren’t out to get shittanked; they merely indulge in life’s pleasures, a good buzz topping the list. I trust people who don’t take shots because I try desperately to be one of them. It’s not always successful, but at least I’m not blacking out and walking naked down South Street anymore (that really happened).
Good Drivers
The root of distrust is often fear. I avoided getting my license until freshman year of college when necessity finally trumped distrust in my capabilities, which was really just fear of getting behind the wheel. In turn, I’ve been driving like an 85-year-old for the last 10 years. I even chose to buy a Buick. When I’m in the car with someone who can glide into the left lane at 80 mph, wedged between a medium and a Mack truck, without breaking into a panicked sweat… or who can parallel park in front of other drivers and nail it first or second try… or who has a keen sense of direction… I am so overcome with TRUST that I want to do something CRAZY, like believe my boyfriend when he says he loves me.
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