Let's Be Friends: Adrienne Ruberti
Let's Be Friends is an interview series with people who inspire me to log off
Feeling fatigued by the barrage of people trying to be someone online? Me too (though, I totally fall under that category). Welcome to Let’s Be Friends: a series of interviews with people whose jobs, interests, and stories give them unfiltered, IRL allure.
It’s only fitting that I kick this series off with one of the women who inspired it. Adrienne is my friend Annie’s younger sister about whom I’d been told countless times “is the coolest person ever” and “you guys would love each other.” I started following Adrienne on Instagram a year or so ago and found myself immediately captivated. What can I say? I’m a sucker for a girl with a joint in one hand and a camera in the other, skateboarding in a bikini through some tropical utopia.
Pronouns: She/Her.
Age: Turned 24 in April and I’m feeling weird about it.
Location: South Jersey for now. Usually somewhere between here, there, and everywhere.
I don’t love the obvious, “So, what do you do?” Give us a rundown of what occupies your time, gives you meaning, and how you got there:
Where do I start? I joke with myself about not having a “real job,” which I don’t, and I really have no interest in ever getting one. I am fortunate enough that my family owns a small business here in South Jersey, so when I graduated college in Florida and moved home in April 2020 (thanks C*VID), I was able to work there and make money on my own schedule (I’m very work when I want, play when I want). I’ve also been babysitting my cousin’s adorable kiddos. I can now add “expertly proficient in Pixar movies” to my résumé.
In Fall 2020, I started my Balanced Body Pilates Mat Instructor certification at a studio in Cherry Hill. I do Pilates regularly and it is definitely my favorite (and pretty much only) workout I do anymore. To get Mat certified, you take 5 courses, each course being one full weekend of two 8-hour days in a Pilates studio learning about anatomy, movement, and (duh) Pilates. After your courses, you need student teaching hours before getting fully certified. I finished my courses in January and have yet to start student teaching because I’m scared of actually being a teacher. It’s been a huge mental battle for me and I’m still struggling, but I have faith in myself to gtfover it. I’m currently starting a new job at the Pilates studio in West Cape May. I’m basically going to be her right-hand man helping run her studio. Although I’m a little overwhelmed, I’m excited to see the business side of running a Pilates studio. After all, I do have a Bachelor’s in Business Administration and I am interested in having my own Pilates studio/business one day.
Well… that was the really long answer to your question. Basically, I don’t have a “real job,” but I am always doing things. How else am I going to maintain that work when I want, play when I want lifestyle?
What song defines your workout playlist?: La Cartera by Farruko & Bad Bunny *cue lil booty twerk*. Pretty much anything Bad Bunny really gets me going. I friggin’ love Latin tunes and they guarantee me to integrate dancing into my workout.
Favorite place you’ve traveled and why:
Ericeira, Portugal. I’ve been to some really beautiful places in my life and I’m so grateful for the opportunities I’ve had to travel, but the beauty of Ericeira is more than just what meets the eye. It actually feels magical there.
I visited Ericeira unexpectedly & unplanned in Summer 2018 for five days. I had planned a trip to Barcelona for 10 days with my friend Ivy. Going into the trip, we had planned to stay in Barcelona for half of the time and then go somewhere else, maybe in Spain or another country nearby. We didn’t plan the second half of the trip until we were together in Barcelona. She had the great idea of going over to Portugal where her best friend was living, and I was game for anything. We bought tickets to Lisbon.
I had NO idea what Portugal was like, had never even looked up pictures or anything prior to flying there; I also totally thought we were staying in Lisbon, which is a big city and the nation’s capital. I was just rolling with everything that shot our way and didn’t ask too many questions (Ivy is a master planner and master of fun so I had 100% faith in her trip planning). We landed at night and drove 30-40 minutes to a town whose name I couldn’t pronounce. My first impression of Portugal stayed in the bag until the next morning when I could actually see where we were.
In the morning, we went on a long walk along the coast and I couldn’t believe my eyes. I had never seen anything like Ericeira: tall cliffs that overlooked the Atlantic, winding roads that moved with the hilly green landscape, cute little Portuguese buildings and abodes with white facades and terracotta roofing, wildflowers and interesting foliage everywhere. I was in love right away. Over the next few days, we went to several beaches in Ericeira, experienced the night life (I feel like that should be in all caps), and met some really awesome people that I still keep in contact with. I immediately decided that’s where I wanted to be the following summer. When I got home, I started seeking monthly rentals in Ericeira for Summer 2019. I found one, booked it, and thought about Portugal every day until I returned in June 2019, nervous and alone, but foaming at the mouth with excitement.
It was the best two months of my life. I still think back and can’t believe that my everyday agenda was, “Which beach should I go to today? Which bikini should I wear?” … all from the comfort of my adorable one-bedroom guest house in this incredible, quaint surf town on the west coast of Portugal. What?! Pinch me, I’m dreaming. I made some lifetime friends right off the bat.
So, back to the magic…. I’m not entirely sure how to describe it, and I hate to say it, but it’s a “you have to go there and feel it for yourself” kind of thing. I’m still trying to figure out if it’s the magic of Ericeira that I’m feeling, or if it’s the magic of living in another country where you don’t know anyone and your daily agenda is “living your best life” that I’m feeling. Whatever it may be, I’m never going to let go of Ericeira. It’s the most special place I’ve ever been, and due to C*VID, my soul has been properly starved of the enchanting Ericeiran bliss. I’ll be returning as soon as possible.
Your passion toward film photography and skateboarding really drew me in on social media. How big of a role do those hobbies play in your life?
Huge roles! Both film and skateboarding are two things in my life that make me feel more confident. I’m no expert in either, but they are two passions of mine that have taught me patience, discipline, and devotion. Film has been a part of my life since January 2017 and is here for the long run. I carry my camera(s) almost everywhere I go, and I love experimenting with new film and styles of shooting. It’s always a conversation starter and I love helping film newbies get on their feet when they are just starting to get their feet wet in the analog pool.
Skateboarding has been an interesting journey. I always wanted to learn how to skate, but the inevitable intimidation of the uber cool sport held me back from trying until recent years. Most of my friends in college skated and surfed, and if I hadn’t had so many skate friends I probably would have never built up the courage to give it a go. In 2018, a friend gave me his old board and that started me off. I didn’t give more of an effort until summer 2019 when I was in Portugal, where I bought my first ever board from scratch and (barely) learned how to skate on a mini ramp while I was over there.
It wasn’t until October 2020 that I really started to put in more time and effort to skate. When I went through my heartbreak last fall, I was really hurting so I looked for something to distract me… never did I ever think that a plank of wood would help me so much! At that point in my life, skateboarding felt like a warm, dry sweater you put on after being left out in the cold rain.
Just like shooting film, I never plan on stopping skateboarding because it’s a part of me that makes me feel more me. I’m also proud to be a FEMALE skateboarder in a male-dominated sport. The new friends and connections I’ve made through skating seem to be endless; skateboarding is a universal language understood by few but embraced by all who speak it. It has helped me gain confidence in myself in parts that I didn’t know I could be confident in, and I’m proud to carry it with me everywhere I go. I LOVE SKATEBOARDING!!
What’s something people might be surprised to learn about you?:
A few things:
I can do the Rubik’s cube.
I have scoliosis. Pilates has been the #1 accessory in building strength in my spine and back muscles, which helps maintain and prevent pain and injuries.
I’ve smoked weed almost every day for the last 5 or so years. I’ve gone in and out of “super stoner” phases while in college, but no matter what “phase” I’m in with weed, it’ll always be a friend of mine and I will always use it at least to help me sleep at night.
I’ve never had a boyfriend.
Paint us a picture of a scenario that makes you feel alive:
The weather is warm and sweet. I’m with people I love and who make me feel comfortable. Live music is playing somewhere nearby. There is no part of me that feels any kind of anxiety, nerves, or stress. I’m completely present in that moment, right then and there. Tasty vibrations are oozing all over the place, and even though you can’t see them, you feel them right in your heart.
I can get everything I just described at A MUSIC FESTIVAL. Particularly, Hulaween in Suwannee, FL. Prior to Hula 2016, the only other music festival experiences I’d had were Firefly and Made In America, which we all know as sweaty, dehydrated, alcohol-fueled, who-cares-so-much-about-the-music-lets-just-get-as-fucked-up-as-possible weekend long benders with a bunch of pop artists. Don’t get me wrong, I had some really great times all of the years that I attended and I will always cherish those memories. But, Hula showed me right away what music festivals are supposed to feel like for me. One of the first things I found different about Hula was the energy. People were there for the music and not just to get all trashed and take five years off your life in one weekend. To be surrounded by beautiful music and nature and art, with people from all over who feel free to express themselves spiritually and physically and in any way they desire, is so beautiful and invigorating. The energy is contagious. I feel like my soul comes alive at Hulaween and I’m really looking forward to going in October. Suwannee has magic in the air in the same way that Ericeira does—you just need to go experience it for yourself and you’ll know what I mean.
Let’s talk beverages. How do you take your coffee and what’s your chosen boozy nightcap?:
My go-to is b l a c k baby. If I’m feelin’ fancy and ridiculous and I’m out somewhere, I just might order a lavender oat milk latte and enjoy every sip.
Booze? We’ve had a weird relationship. A couple years ago, I had pretty much stopped drinking because I just couldn’t handle the hangovers anymore. I didn’t completely break up with alcohol but we stopped seeing each other for a while. Inevitably over time, I evolved back into a drinker. I still don’t drink much but I drink a lot more often than I was a few years ago. I LOVE BEER. A LOT! It’s definitely my drink of choice. My favorites are probably Pacifico, Blue Moon, and Modelo (am I basic?). If I had to choose a liquor, silver tequila is my go-to. Preferably something not super cheap.
Three qualities you seek in a partner:
In March 2020, I wrote a journal entry about my dream guy (trying to manifest, of course). I had to scroll around my wrinkly journal pages to find the entry, but here are a few that I wrote down that still hold strong:
Humor. Specifically humor that pairs well with mine. He can laugh at himself and at the serious things in life. Always finds a way to make me laugh without trying.
Compassionate, kind, and loving. Not just in romantic relationships, but to everyone in general. Selfless and able to express gratitude.
He’s in touch with his feminine side. He doesn’t care about societal expectations on masculinity and embraces the parts of him that show “feminine” traits, e.g. sensitivity, emotion, and physical appearance. This is probably what I find most attractive in men. It’s rare, but it does exist.
I wrote a lot more in my journal, but I feel like these are some of the most important qualities that I value. This question has motivated me to re-journal about my dream guy and see how my values have changed over the past year.
What makes you feel sexy?:
I don’t have a lot of self-confidence and I’m working on getting comfortable with being confident and expressing it. I’ve come a long way over the years, but I still have a long way to go. I come from a very hypo-sexual family and have become accustomed to that environment, making it harder for me to feel sexy. BUT I AM TRYING!
Physically speaking, my legs make me feel sexy. I love them. They’re long and slender (thanks mom!) and I like to think of them as trophies for dedicating myself to fitness and Pilates. You’re supposed to show off your trophies, right? Having my nails painted makes me feel a lil sexy (before they get all chipped). Hands can be sexy and painting your nails is like doing makeup for your hands.
Internally, my intelligence and common sense makes me feel sexy. Not saying I can go in-depth on philosophy and foreign politics at the drop of a hat, but I do know that I have a good head on my shoulders and that I’m able to hold a conversation about almost anything with anyone and I’m proud of it. I feel more comfortable feeling sexy on the inside rather than physically showing it on the outside.
What color best represents all that is Adrienne Ruberti and why?:
A bright yellowy-orange, like a sunset. I realize that we are all responsible for the energy that we bring into a room or space, and I try my best to emulate that with my energetic presence wherever I go. I hope that I bring a warm and comforting spirit. I’ve been told many times that I’m intimidating or “scary” to approach, which always kind of confused me because I don’t want to be like that haha. Maybe it’s because I’m tall.
What’s the last thing you read that really impacted you? (book, article, poem, quote, lyric, tweet, etc.):
A few weeks ago I found a copy of The Alchemist at a yard sale and although I’m not one to go for novels, I knew it was something that I had to read. Only 50 cents baby! I’m about halfway through and I already can’t wait to read it again. It’s so beautiful and soul-moving and has so many nice messages and lessons laced in.
Pandemic-related or not, what’s a realization you’ve had in the past year that’s impacted your outlook on life?
The BLM movement: how important it is to be anti-racist and to never stop educating yourself on the matter. I was always well aware that racism existed and that there is institutional racism in this country, but I never realized how much cultural racism flies under the radar and goes unaccounted for. I learned a lot about my own white privilege and am continuously learning how to be a better ally to BIPOC. Having challenging conversations with people, calling people out for racist comments, supporting BIPOC businesses and charities, and integrating education on racial issues in your life are just a few examples of real ways to be an ally to BIPOC, not just reposting stuff on your story to make you feel like an ally. I’m working on incorporating these tactics into my life as well as learning new ways to support. Writing about my experience makes me feel uncomfortable, but it’s important to feel uncomfortable when it comes to this.
This brings me to another realization I had last year… and it’s all about social media. I realized that what we post (or don’t post) on social media does not define you as a person and that it is merely only a fraction of what and who we are as people in real life. I know how easy it is to get caught up in who you display as on Instagram. Instagram is usually used as a highlight reel and people get so worked up over how many likes their picture is going to get, or even worse: “will this post make me lose followers?!” Who the fuck cares. Seriously. Instagram is stupid and I’ve learned to care a whole lot less about what I post and to not pay too much thought about what people might think about my posts. I miss the days where people would post a picture of their plate of food or a totally unedited mirror selfie or something that just doesn’t make any sense to anyone. Bring back Instagram before ads and shopping and influencers!!! I think it’s really important for frequent social media users to keep their social media ego in check because you can easily let those demons skew your sense of self.
Another big realization I made last year was exactly what I do NOT want in a partner. I fell unreasonably hard for this individual last year who wound up breaking my heart and it sucked a lot. Sometimes I still blame myself for not listening to the red flags from the beginning. But, the silver lining is that I learned a hell of a lot about myself and relationships and I’m really grateful that it happened. I also got a few new friends out of the situation and now looking back on it, these new friendships were worth the pain I went through! That was the closest I ever got to actually being in a relationship, and I’m a firm believer in “everything happens for a reason.”
Anything else we should know?:
Thank you Dia!!! I am so grateful to be a part of this project and thank you for thinking of me! This was my first time doing anything like this and I had a lot of fun answering your interesting questions. I really had to dive deep to find my answers and write them out and it felt like a really healthy self-reflection session. I haven’t been challenged to think or talk about myself like this in a very, very long time, and it felt like a workout for both my brain and self-esteem. I LOVE Broke But Moisturized and reading everything you write and I’m so excited to read about this series!!! Thank you again <3 <3 <3 <3
Follow Adrienne on Instagram at @itsadriennenotadrian.
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