Quote of the Week: “Turn up the radio. Turn up the tape machine. Look into the sunset up ahead. Roll the windows down for a better taste of the cool desert wind. Ah yes. This is what it’s all about. Total control now. Tooling along the main drag on a Saturday night in Las Vegas, two good old boys in a fireapple-red convertible… stoned, ripped, twisted… Good People.” —Hunter S. Thompson, Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas and Other American Stories. Yes, I know I’m excruciatingly late to the game. Sixty pages in and I’m ready to approach my life and writing straight gonzo, minus the ether.
Drinking: Twist of lime Topo Chico.
Listening to: “I am not a woman I’m a god” by Halsey. First of all, I love the Nine Inch Nails production on this album. I’d never really listened to Halsey, but an industrial lean suits the Spencer’s Nightmare Before Christmas graphic tee, “it’s not a phase, mom” energy of their lyrics.
In 2018, Ariana Grande released “God is a woman.” I kept that track on a nauseating loop, feeling a bone-deep, anthem-inspiring otherness from men. This year, Tommy Genesis teased her album goldilocks x with the second single, “a woman is a god.” It’s a moment of pointed self-reflection in the middle of a club, set to an ominous house beat. And then we have Halsey’s defiant proclamation of the year, perfect at SoulCycle or in your car at 2 AM.
I’m starting to unpack the god motif in pop music and why I’m drawn to it, which partly stems from motherhood. As we confront the limitations of a gender binary, there is still something godlike to me in the ability to give life. Not all womb-having individuals can or want to, but it’s a future pursuit I hold in personal deference. I might not even be able to conceive, but the possibility feels primal and divine. Now let’s tuck it away for a few years while mamma enjoys her youth.
Thinking: About the concept of performance. I became invested in the subject the other day when I found myself especially jovial in an interaction with a fellow dog owner on the street. Was I being myself, or was I in character? Am I the kind of upbeat stranger who could turn someone’s day around? I started taking notes on my phone immediately. Then my girlfriend and I brushed the topic today, so here’s a snippet of where I’m at. More to come…
Excited for: Well, the cat’s out of the bag that I’m probbbbably going back on my word and starting a podcast. I’m always looking for ways to expand the Broke But Moisturized project through new platforms for connection. Having been a guest on two podcasts this year, I learned I really like the medium as a more candid, expansive approach to subjects. Writing is painstaking in myriad ways; I’m incredibly self-critical, which makes me lose stamina quickly. While I work on writing more and not dissecting every syntactic decision, having an outlet to speak fluidly with interesting people should (hopefully) provide inspiration.
That said, I’ve been told this newsletter is hard to keep up with, especially for folks with driving commutes + demanding jobs. Not to mention email fatigue is *real*. I’m taking all of this into account as I consider some structural tweaks. We will keep our weekly Daily Drips with 1-2 longer essays/interviews per month; I tend to think “less, but better” helps build anticipation, anyway. And however a podcast fits into the mix works for me.
Wanting: Doc Martens. I’m caving, people. I’ve now had two pairs of platform boots that split right from the sole, so it’s time for something reliable. In true Dia fashion, the pair I want is 1.) mostly impractical, and 2.) sold out. I really hope I can have the Goth Bratz Doll fall I deserve.
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