Daily Drip (+ a premature announcement!)
Daily Drips highlight what I’m up to + into on any given day
Drinking: This mocha mushroom tea from The Spice & Tea Exchange in Rehoboth Beach, DE. I can’t claim teahead status yet, but it’s a ritual that helps me unwind and gives me something to look forward to at the end of the day. This adaptogenic blend is earthy and chocolatey and perfect for nurturing one’s elusive inner chill bitch.
Eating: A bowl of cherries. I’ve read that cherries are good for sleep. Some health tidbits I’ll read in passing and, because they sound nice and support my own pre-existing wellness narrative, launch right into without further research. There could be thousands of scholarly articles out there linking cherries to insomnia, but because I heard this cute benefit once, here I am: eating cherries at 10 PM with a cup of tea. Still waiting for some quack to tell me cheese is a superfood.
Listening to: “Make It Up” by Tirzah. Tirzah will be at III Points festival in Miami in October (among other drop dead stunningly gorgeous acts like Skrillex, Fred Again…, John Summit, Green Velvet, Keinemusik, etc.) and I’m dying to go. Like, would-form-a-crew-with-strangers level dying. (Though, I’m low key saving the risk of festing with strangers for the year I inevitably pull the trigger on Burning Man.)
Thinking: So I saw this TikTok today that made me feel insane, like millennial dating has officially entered the twilight zone (which is a lot coming from my delusional ass). User itssalexalvarez says, essentially, that if your jaw doesn’t hit the floor the first time you see her… that if you don’t choke and lose your breath knowing this woman is your wife and you have to have her… that if she is not your dream girl… then don’t waste her time. It’s funny and exaggerated, yeah. And she does begin with the disclaimer that it is a “scalding hot” take. But as someone who runs an advice column and gets pelted with this take pretty often, I can tell you it is, in fact, lukewarm.
Do I believe your person should worship you? Yes. Do I believe the man should exhibit markedly greater interest and effort in pursuit of the relationship? Yes. But do I believe it’s realistic that the person you end up with starts convulsing when he first lays eyes on you—no makeup, head tilted, twirling your hair around your finger while you stare at the menu in a coffee shop, deciding what to get with all the doe-eyed wonder of his boyhood fantasy? Not fucking really. I don’t even necessarily believe he will (or should) know by date one, or even date five. Because let’s be real: if a guy lost his mind over you immediately, you would find him cringe. You would think he’s insecure, or coping with something, and you’d be waiting for the other shoe to drop.
There’s a lot of harmful, contradictory discourse around how guys should think/feel/treat you in early stage dating. If he’s reserved, he’s aloof, or withholding! If he’s affectionate, he’s clingy, or love bombing! If he’s confident, he’s a narcissist! So often, I find myself returning to this question of “can we just be normal?” because…???? Don’t get me wrong, it’s all fun to dissect and dramatize. But I wish people knew the way love knocks you on your ass tends to be simply and gradually. It’s the progressive uncovering of all the little ways in which you are each other’s dreams. Who knows, though!
Excited for: I’m getting my hair done Saturday and your girl is going lighter for the first (legitimate) time since likeeee, 2015? I’ve gotten whispers of balayage once or twice since then, but nothing noticeable; I’ve still been a brunette through and through. I don’t even care if it ends up looking like shit. In the words of Biggie, “wreck it, buy a new one” (i.e. immediately return to brown). I feel like I’ve lived 100 hair lives in the past two years, having been chopped to my chin, dark, curtain-banged, fringe-banged, etc. I’m hoping a kind of ombre look will be easy and wearable and not require a blowdryer and a round brush to look decent (looking at you, bangs).
Loving: 1.) The Ram Dass Here and Now podcast. What can I possibly say to do this thoughtful curation of excerpted lectures any justice? It’s been balm for my brain and all its putrid build-up of modern agony. Starting with his time as Harvard darling Richard Alpert—a cushy life as a tenured professor and bon vivant… to being dismissed from the university with Timothy Leary, pushing them deeper into psychedelic exploration and counterculture… to his transformative trek through India… it is WILD. He was a magnetic storyteller: self-aware, laugh-out-loud funny, and just generally one of the good ones.
2.) Standing in line for the bathroom at a rave recently, this girl said to her friend, “I think he just played some mix of “Days Go By” by Dirty Vegas.” Like… are you kidding me? Formative dance music memories UNLOCKED. My brain was flooded with images of the legendary Mitsubishi Eclipse commercial, the coordinating Chappelle skit, and the brilliant music video itself, which might have one of the more heartwarming comments sections on YouTube.
Recent Eats: When I’m working from home and want an elevated lunch, I’ll basically throw together anything vaguely Mediterranean. This was a big tahini tuna cake with capers and feta, plus a salad of cannellini beans, red onion, olives, etc., and dolmas.
What I Wore: I really loved this look from our beach trip, mostly because it’s my first time *ever* wearing silver jewelry, and I think I did a good job on my eye makeup.
Working on: 1.) I’m being featured on Philadelphia Runner’s blog! This interview couldn’t have come at a better time. I’ve been in the thick of some hard introspection on my running journey, training weaknesses, and goals for the year. I won’t give the details here, but I’ll share it out once it’s live for anyone who feels inclined to hear me talk about a sport that like, 6% of the population finds cool.
2.) If the running feature sounded like the announcement, it’s absolutely not. What I’m really thrilled and terrified to share with you is that I’m working on a collection of essays and poetry called 32-year-old teenage girl. I have no expectations of this getting picked up by a publisher, though I will attempt to go that route before self-publishing (she loves a reach). Either way, it will be out in the world eventually! Something I’ve dreamt of my entire life and visualize with every big, deep, diaphragm breath. I’ve talked a while about getting a manuscript together, but only a couple weeks ago did I start laying the foundation—hammering out poetry, rounding up existing work, loosely defining the spirit of the project, etc.
32-year-old teenage girl is about clinging to a slippery and romantic youth while getting wrinkles and losing party stamina. It’s about finding poetry in a Sunday trip to Starbucks and the mall because what else could make you feel so alive, so fertile? It’s about holding the demonic brat who’s desperate to be loved and the grounded adult woman not as opposing forces, but as a symbiotic pair to nourish in tandem. Dwhudifbesjbjka ahhhhhhh it’s overwhelming, but it’s all happening—mainly because I’ve given myself no other option! So, if you know anyone in publishing looking for a normal girl voice who’s totally unknown and doesn’t live in New York or LA and enjoys Applebees 2 for $20 and doesn’t know what “Faustian” means… well, they’re in luck.
Well its like a window into your life and mind. So much better than an social media rubbish :) Thanks for sharing.
Proud of you!!!!!!