Eating: Right now, two Uncle Eddie’s oatmeal chocolate chip cookies with a decaf iced americano. I get these cookies at Whole Foods and they’ve become a fav in our house. But since today was a long run day (18 miles in a little under three hours) in preparation for the Steamtown Marathon on October 8th, let’s do a little “what I’ve eaten today thus far”:
I started my morning at 6:15 AM with a toasted plain bagel with pb&j. We were actually out of jelly, so I whipped some up on the stove from blueberries and coconut sugar and it was honestly amazing?! Pb&j in some form is my most reliable pre-run food.
During my run, I fueled every three miles on the dot with a UCan gel—so, five gels total. I can’t believe I used Gu brand as long as I did. UCan changed my life. It’s no wonder pros like Emily Sisson rep it. I had sustained energy the whole way through, with zero digestive issues/bathroom breaks.
I’m historically really bad at eating after long runs for the first like, two or three hours. That’s because I’m historically bad at fueling and feel sick and dead after my long runs. Not anymore! Now I keep Core Power protein shakes on deck (for the record, I am not sponsored or receiving any of these products for free). I chug one pretty much as soon as I get in the door.
About an hour later, Andrew made me a chocolate chip Kodiak protein pancake with Kerrygold and maple syrup.
A few hours after that, I decided to make ramen. While the water was boiling, I had a bowl of Nature’s Path honey crunch cereal with a banana and Califia Farms oat milk (if you’re looking for a cereal + oat milk combo that actually doesn’t contain seed oils or other suspicious shit, this is my heaven). Then just some basic ass chicken ramen… except I grated a mountain of Tillamook extra sharp cheddar cheese into it. I got that from Korean girls and let’s just say they know what they’re doing. For dinner, we’re having salmon, broccoli, and rice. I will drink a beer and maybe have some ice cream later on. And that, my friends, is how you sustain a 35,000-step day.
Quote of the Week: “But my own instinct, as to the male relation, is that men, who are far more helpless than women—because far less single-minded—need each other as comrades, need each other for correction, need each other for tears and ribaldry, need each other as models, need each other indeed, in sum, in order to be able to love women.”— James Baldwin, Tell Me How Long the Train’s Been Gone. This is only the second Baldwin book I’ve read but wow! You couldn’t convince me he’s not the GOAT if my life depended on it. He was witty and breathless and utterly singular in his way of making relationships jump off the page.
Excited for: I just joined the team of poetry readers at Split Lip Mag. I can’t tell you how honored I am to help all these brilliant experts get people’s art out into the world. It’s already reminded me how much I LOVE reading other people’s work and thinking with an editor’s brain. This is all thanks to my friend, Rita Mookerjee, who is easily the most impressive person on the planet and also a BBM alum.
Between this, reading a million submissions for our local lit mag, Poet’s Row, and working on my own collection, I have been in poetry mode for weeks. I’ve been thinking about sharing weekly poetry with paid subscribers, but don’t want to bombard folks with stuff they wouldn’t be into. So if you’re a paid sub and poetry’s not your vibe, or you’d just hate to get even more in your inbox every week, shoot me an email!
Listening to: “Muscaria” by Of The Trees. The kind of song that makes you say, “this and a blunt.” I don’t even smoke anymore but his music sounds like indica feels. And he just so happens to be at HiJinx Fest this December, where your girl will be back providing all the fun coverage! This is my favorite weekend in Philly. Of course, I’m biased because I’m delusional enough to believe raving’s a salve for modern evils. But man, if they don’t outdo themselves with the lineup every year. Snag your tickets while they’re still under $200.
Beauty Update: We at BBM HQ are not entirely uncritical of beauty, but we tend to find it more curious and less nefarious than, say, Jessica DeFino of The Unpublishable (who I think is great, for the record… and that’s saying a lot considering I find 80% of modern criticism nauseating/part of our collective demise). So when I decided to put my unruly eyebrows and nubs for lashes in the hands of professional wizard, Cammy from Glamour Me in Audubon, New Jersey, it wasn’t without careful deliberation.
I’m of the mentality that we can make fun of our features without being actively insecure about them. Sure, I like filling in my brows and wearing mascara. It’s fun and makes me feel pretty. But my natural look doesn’t make me feel worse by contrast. For years, I’ve watched people get their brows and lashes professionally done from the sidelines, wondering what it’d be like. So for $160 (and this is why we have three jobs), I gave it a whirl.
Do you have a passing interest in medieval torture? Have you ever wondered what it’d feel like to have your eyes glued shut? That’s a lash lift and tint. “This is soooooo fucking weird,” I repeated, laughing with Cammy as we chatted ex-boyfriends and dubstep. For 90 minutes you lay there wondering if this is where vanity steals your vision. If you might live out the rest of your days as a blind woman in the woods, painting abstract masterpieces of the static in your brain.
When the process ended and she passed me the mirror, I yelped. I didn’t look cartoonishly different, but it was like seeing myself with eyelashes for the very first time. Because without mascara, mine are actually so short that you can’t even see them. So it was… different. As for the brows, that felt pretty run-of-the-mill. They look awesome, and I’m grateful two have two uniform eyebrows and the stubborn patchiness evened out.
Days later, it’s still disorienting to wake up and look like you’re wearing a bit of makeup. I like it! Probably not enough to spend $110 on my lashes every two months. But definitely enough to put my tweezers down and leave my brows to the pros.
Thinking: 1.) This artist I follow, Annabelle Gabriell asked: do you think there’s a difference between detachment and non-attachment?
Having recently read Thich Nhat Hanh, the concept of non-attachment is pretty top-of-mind for me. Ultimately, I think the difference lies in intentionality, i.e., non-attachment is intentional, while detachment can be a state you enter due to external forces, like heartbreak, grief, etc. Detachment is a fluctuating inevitability, but practicing non-attachment can help combat that, because non-attachment promotes peace, which helps us deal with those circumstances that lead to detachment. Am I making sense here? I was glad to contemplate this, and I’d love to hear your thoughts on the topic. I’m often torn on non-attachment because sometimes, I think to get too deep in it is to rob yourself of the very human experience of loving someone to the point of physical pain in their absence. Idk, maybe I’m toxic *flips hair, chains my fiancé to my side*.
2.) So today I got sucked into all things Sofia Richie Grainge. And I don’t know what to make of it? I’m shameless in my love for a good It Girl. I’m an Ariana Grande stan. I listen to Call Her Daddy sometimes. I pretty much only go on TikTok for Alix Earle. So this is familiar territory. But I don’t know, this particular camp of celebrities—the Hailey Biebers, the Sofia Richie Grainges—who are really just socialites with personalities obscured by advertisements for clothes we’ll never afford, it feels meh. Like, trust me, there’s nothing wrong with loving a girl solely for her chicness. It’s fun and it’s really neva eva that serious. Plus, SRG is the moment and I’m loving it. But I think for me, someone who is currently on a spend freeze from clothes, it replants that seed of excess. Suddenly I feel like I need a matching tweed set and that viral Chanel lip she wore for her wedding to fellow Generational Wealth Haver, Elliot Grainge. I’m not bothered by rich people being rich and posting 20-second videos of it. But if you’re trying to detach from the notion that wealth and things=fulfillment like I am, maybe don’t hang on their accounts for a solid hour. Whoops.
In other aesthetic news: I got two new tattoos this past week. Just a couple quick, tiny guys to scratch the itch: a safety pin on my inner wrist and an ice cream cone on the side of my forearm. This artist has flash sheets from the I Spy books and Shel Silverstein illustrations, so the nostalgic cancer in me had to do it. I love them so much! Now to start thinking about some larger pieces. >:-)
Working on: Since the cat’s out of the bag, I’m writing a collab piece with one of my FAAAAV writers, Alex Lewis from Feels Like Home. Yes, ‘twas Alex whose hilarious, biting critique of the Sunday Scaries Instagram page worked its way around the twittersphere, reaching (and infuriating) the folks at Washed Media. Good internet moment. Anyway, here, we’ll unpack the concept of “drinking the kool-aid” and share some of the ways we both have, on everything from Taylor Swift tickets to Stanley cups to marriage.
Just Watched: I’m back in my fantasy bag. In the last week, I’ve watched the full Lord of the Rings trilogy, including the extended versions which are upward of 4 hrs & 23 mins long. It’s funny, every week, Andrew asks me to watch a movie; and every week, I see the 2+ hour length and say no. But put a few brave hobbits and magical elves and terrifying orcs on screen and I will sit still for five hours, gripped and smiling.
Something I’ve learned about myself over the last couple years is that film is not my thing. That’s not to say the LOTR movies aren’t remarkable, or that I don’t have a few niche favs. Just that I usually don’t care for the cerebral, artsy selections people with Criterion tell me to watch. I want fantasy! And adventure! I love Tarantino! I want to be entertained every step of the way like an iPad kid in a high chair at Applebees. And I want to believe I’m a warrior woman who could kill an unkillable Nazgûl in one fell swoop. Time to listen to a fuckton of Led Zeppelin because, well, if you know, you know.
Uncle eddies soooooooo good
Congrats on the epic running day! 35k is a lot of steps.
I’ll have to check out those gels you mentioned.