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Listening to: “Eyes Closed” by Brainrack, Eyezic, and ALLEYCVT. Brainrack aka Alex Kennedy is actually my roommate and a local electronic producer. His recent single, “Eyes Closed,” is signed to Excision’s new label, Subsidia. I’ve had it on rotation since it dropped. He’ll be opening for Subtronics on 9/10 so if you’re in the market for a ridiculously fun, high energy show and want to witness my friends and I headbanging, snag your ticket today. They will likely sell out.
Feeling: Heartbroken by our sheer impermanence. On Friday I shared the story of my sister’s passing for the 3-year anniversary. That morning, I awoke to the news that my good friend Connor “Karl” Welch was found dead in his apartment. When I was home in Danville last, Karl invited me on a sunset hike of Rickett’s Glen to prepare for his family trip to Glacier Park in Montana. What I would give to go back and accept, had I known my dear friend would only be with us another month or two. There’s so much I could write about Karl’s legacy, a brilliant mind with a taste for fast living. Our friendship was something I shared like folklore because he was one of those people who transcend the everyday. He was a true psychonaut. An earthling only by force. This loss has shaken me so much, I feel new resolve to live more like Karl, simple, honest, and adventurous.
Inspired by: Iris Apfel, who is officially a centenarian! This American treasure has always made me smile with her unabashed commitment to a volume-on-max aesthetic. Those glasses. That red lip. We could all only hope to be so ourselves.
Grateful for: The way celebration brings strangers together. On Sunday I attended a wedding as one of my girlfriends’ dates. I knew neither the bride nor the groom, nor 99.9% of attendees, but when two people are celebrating the biggest day of their romantic life, it’s high vibes all around. From the stunning venue to the bride’s parents who treated me like family, the 2-day hangover was worth it.
Thinking: You likely know my life well enough by now to join me in pondering this strange cloud of death over my head. You never want to make someone’s passing about yourself, but when you’ve experienced the consistent young loss that I have, you start to wonder what’s the deal—why me? What kind of test am I being issued by the universe? I think about death a lot now. More than my brain has vacancy to support. And not in a gloomy way necessarily, just a distant curiosity toward what’s next. I figure eventually I’ll make some sense of it all… hopefully before I die.
Excited for: The day I can write to you with something glittery and colorful and smiley and fun. That’s not where I’m at the last two weeks, but let’s keep the optimism flowing. Bring me your finest “love and light.”
Almost half of Broke But Moisturized subscribers are paid. What a surreal and joyous thing, to have your art deemed worthy of financial support. You can get in on this for $5 a month. I’d set it lower if Substack let me, but consider it buying me a latte every month. How sweet of you.