Listening to: “Lai” by deadmau5. Historically, I would consider myself as much a deadmau5 fan as one can be knowing (and revering) his big tracks. So I’ve taken the last few days to comb through his old stuff and wow! It is as crystalline and hypnotic as they say. The perfect background music to any meditative activity.
Eating: Haagen-Dazs strawberry. Well, I am right now as I’m writing at 11 PM, but I won’t be when this hits your inboxes Friday morning. Or will I? Selecting ice cream is always the sharpest expression of my intuition. Like, I’m always “in the mood” for ice cream. But I can only eat whatever specific flavor I’m in the mood for. Anything less feels like a wasted experience.
I’ve come to respect the food experience more than ever lately. Not just when it’s special, but even just having a turkey wrap on my lunch break at the office; I try to stay off my phone and really be present with every bite. Work has been insane, and there are days when I’m mindlessly plowing leaves into my mouth between meetings. So I make the most out of every time I’m not doing that.
Recent Eats: While we’re on the topic of food, I have been LAZY in the kitchen for the last like, week. (I repeat: work has been insane.) I think it’s important to acknowledge these spells of culinary inertia as often as I share my fun and sometimes complex creations. Trader Joe’s has had my back this week. My period cycle is off and hormones are nutty. I’m also running again after two weeks off with bronchitis and my body’s shouting, “more calories, pls!” So I’m just like, frozen mac & cheese? Yeah! Frozen spring rolls? You know it! We’ll get back to our regularly scheduled program soon.
Obsessed with: Sad Girl Track Club, the chaotic evil creative brainchild of professional runner Molly Seidel and her sister, Izzy. SGTC is a raccoon meme page about running. It’s really a perfect marriage of my favorite things: le sport and shitposting, especially in Comic Sans and WordArt.
Weekend Recap: Naturally, I found myself at The Ave last Friday night for the Deathpact show. I was in my proverbial bag. Sure, it sucks that there’s exactly one venue in Philly devoted to dance music. And it sucks even more that the crowd is mostly 21-24 years old. But a little ps*l*cyb*n, many a Mexican lager, and some absolutely demonic beats make for a fine evening. In one of the funnier moments of the night, these three normie guys (sorry to use that term, but if you show up to the rave in a Patagonia vest…) were freaking out behind us in line for the door, asking how much the “cover charge” was, and “what it’s like in there,” and “so, do you guys come here like, every weekend?” and it made me feel all warm and sentimental knowing they were probably about to have this formative experience. And maybe they’d hate it, but maybe they’d feel like I did at their age, just so fully enraptured by this weird and wonderful counterculture.
Then Saturday I basked in the afterglow until it was time for the big moment: Andrew’s parents meeting my parents for the first time. Why is that such a nerve-wracking situation?! You get in your own head and build up this oversized reaction his parents may have to the people who made you, imagining them debriefing in the car afterward, saying shit like, “hmmm, that explains a lot.” Andrew and I come from pretty different worlds. Not to mention, his parents are mild-mannered, even a bit introverted, while mine are both the life of every party (for better or for worse). But everyone totally clicked! As expected when the connective thread is your kids getting hitched. My mom did make one awkward comment about her disappointment that I’ve chosen to forgo a traditional wedding, exclaiming that I was “supposed to be her pretty princess bride, walking down the aisle of St. Joseph’s.” Thankfully, all it takes to assuage her is a sip of chianti and a bite of carbonara. To the happy couple, salud!
ICYMI: I wrote this piece two weeks ago on my disdain for social decorum, stream-of-consciousness at like 2 AM, and for some reason, it’s really resonated with people? Probably one of my most popular posts actually lol! Kinda gives me a shred of hope that maybe we’re all sick of these little facades.
Scent of the Day: Good Girl Gone Bad by By Kilian. Mmmm I love this. My friend Rita sent me a sample and it’s delicious. I wouldn’t buy a whole bottle just because it is $$$ and the longevity isn’t stellar, but such a great sample to have on deck for spring.
Thinking: You’ll notice a theme as you progress through today’s Daily Drip. It wasn’t intentional, but it has charged me to admit something I’ve been burying for a while: PINK IS MY FAVORITE COLOR. Phew, that felt good. For most of my life, it was green. Same as my mom’s. Then it was blue for a brief stint; perhaps I thought I’d become calmer by proxy? Or start to fear the ocean a little less? I don’t know. Then it was back to green until I cracked under the weight of my heart’s truth: that everything I gravitate toward with most visceral adoration is pink. Even in this moment, I look around my home—the curtains, certain wall art details, the spines of various books on the shelf—all some tickled ass rosy ass hue of feminine sweetness. I don’t even FEEL particularly masculine or feminine most days but aesthetically, give me your girliest. This has been most liberating. I would love to know your favorite color and why.
Side note: my girlfriends and I have been going off about auras in the group chat. From what I’ve read, I think mine is pink? I need some chick with a septum ring to take my picture and settle this once and for all.
What I Wore: Ok, I’m inviting you to bully me. I fell so in love with this $20 fast fashion dress (from Boohoo) that I got it in the *only size they had left* and had it TAILORED. Dumbass behavior on multiple fronts but We’re! All! Human! Here! Zero regrets. It’s thin and cozy and a great transitional piece for this capricious weather. Worn with Nike Daybreaks, YSL crossbody, and necklace stack from my favorite local brand, Saturdazies.
Just Purchased: I am a very intentional person. I look for small opportunities to express myself in random objects (like this mousepad I use at the office). Bits of whimsy that serve as conversation starters and make people smile. So when I realized I was constantly fixing my lip liner in my phone camera, I saw the chance to get a “statement” compact mirror. Now, Etsy is one of the more terrifying platforms in that its algorithm is a true extension of my brain. And after some digging, it presented the most “me” trinket I’ve ever seen: a compact mirror that looks like a mini cake. Buttercream Daydream is an Etsy store devoted to fake cake goods. This can be yours, too, for $15 and the small sacrifice of your maturity. It really makes me so deliriously happy. (PS: would make a great gift for the little girl in your life, whether she’s 6 or 31!)
Watching: Love & Death, that new HBO show with Elizabeth Olsen. I’m not obsessed, but it’s entertaining enough. I love any member of the Olsen family and Jesse Plemons is a legend. Also the soundtrack is fire. What are you guys watching? What should I be watching?
Feeling: Like some signs have been following me lately. I can’t tell whether I should be scared or excited. I know everyone’s primed to see angel numbers given their prominence in pop spirituality, but I’ve seen them lately more than ever. Last week alone, I stopped one run at 3.33 miles, and another at 1:11:11… seriously. One hour, eleven minutes, and eleven seconds. This might lead one to believe they are protected, or about to come into some kind of abundance. But concurrently, I have seen dead birds everywhere; I won’t divulge the full details in case I decide to expound in a full essay, but it’s been eerie.
I mentioned earlier that my period cycle is off. In turn, my PMDD has been especially dark (read about my experience here). Every passing thought spirals into self-loathing, and I can’t get through the day without a good cry. My impulses are positively throbbing, i.e., I want to get my nipples pierced and book a flight to Denmark and make beef bourguignon at midnight. I’ve gotten used to feeling this way for 7-10 days each month, but this one’s holding on for dear life. Anyway, I’m taking it day by day. That’s all we can do as people, huh? If you notice I’m not as active on here, it’s because I’m trying to find that silver lining hiding somewhere. Bitch is stealthy.
Stay hydrated, stay sexy, and have a relaxing weekend.
I feel like I’m going through a color identity crisis right now. I always thought my favorite was some iteration of blue and/or green but I think it might actually be red or orange. I’m drawn to those colors a lot. Also, that piece you wrote about being normal is *chef’s kiss*
I have a septum ring and can take your picture. For nips, go to Infinite off South Street. Highly recommend.
Embrace your aura! Haha! Pink is fun! Briefly makes me think of that Devil Wears Prada scene where Meryl said the sweater color Anne was wearing originated on a runway and trickled down to her discount business casual. Maybe Pantone is behind our color choices, but dammit, we can love them while they’re popping. Was eying a pink dress and denim overcoat. Nom nom.