Eating: Oats with honey, blueberries, and peanut butter. This is a pretty standard weekday breakfast for me, followed by a little piece of dark chocolate before 9 AM.
Drinking: A decaf americano with cream.
Excited for: After months of dragging my feet, I have finally simplified my old website, brokebutmoisturized.com into an anonymous contact form for an advice column. This is where you come in: submit the burning questions for which you need unbiased, unprofessional, thoughtful advice, and I’ll round up a few each month in a post on here. Because Valentine’s Day is my second favorite holiday, February newsletter content is all about sex & dating. Happy submitting! **And remember, I have no way of knowing or revealing your identity, so this is a truly safe space.
Listening to: “Halah” by Mazzy Star. Some mood board account I follow posted a photo of lead singer Hope Sandoval in the late 80s/early 90s which reminded me of that hazy, honest song and of her mysterious beauty. At only 55, Sandoval is a living artifact of yesterday’s muses who desired a privacy our modern mainstream doesn’t cherish.
Just Read: This R29 piece on Euphoria (caution: spoiler alerts if you haven’t watched episode 5). The article irritates me for a few reasons. First, we’re watching a Black woman spotlight the opioid epidemic in a seminal way; so for some dorky internet writer to address Zendaya directly, saying “no Emmy is worth the turmoil,” feels slimy. Secondly, I hate how anything with good cinematography and an attractive cast that happens to capture hard content is considered “glamorizing,” especially with ample warning. For once, popular television isn’t trying to convince us that all addicts are old and ugly. Welcome to the real world where hot, young people often self-destruct before becoming old and wise.
No TV show is above criticism. But if you’re going to come for Euphoria, at least build a case around something more substantive than your own anxiety toward dark and unfamiliar subject matter. That’s some teacher’s pet energy. Thankfully the comments section said everything I was thinking and then some, that when we turn a blind eye to fictional portrayals of addiction to circumvent discomfort, we’re engaging in the same avoidance that ostracizes addicts IRL. Anyway, let me watch my horny teen drama in peace…
Thinking: 1.) This weekend, I became godmother to my 7-year-old nephew, Atticus. The preceding days were discouraging. I had to jump through flaming hoops of Catholic church bureaucracy, calling multiple priests in Philly looking for someone to vouch for my “good Catholic standing.” But it was all worth it seeing holy water poured over his tiny head. Knowing he is welcomed into a global community in the face of immense tragedy.
I worked at a Catholic school for the last five years, and even attended Catholic school myself through 5th grade. I was fairly anti-religion for the better part of my life, but that doesn’t serve me these days. Who am I to reject the notion of a divine and merciful creator? In these self-righteous times, I want my nephews to know something devoid of ego, however vague or implausible the words “gods love” ring.
2.) I was listening to an episode of Red Scare from a few months ago wherein Dasha says she’s moving away from athleisure. She called for a return to basics: Soffe shorts, baby tees, classic pieces in softer, less technical materials. I’ve never been someone with an impressive selection of matching leggings and sports bras, but I do think it’s a hot look—that kind of tactical Peloton barbie thing—and I don’t think it’s going anywhere. Still, reflecting on the gym clothes of my youth made me nostalgic. I, too, miss exercising and lounging in cotton. Could this be my return to thrice-rolled Soffe waistbands?
Feeling: Like I want to embrace a more stoic attitude toward everyday anxieties. I started my job at Comcast this week and truthfully, I’m feeling pretty overwhelmed. I realized I tend to amplify my dread by dumping it on people. There’s power in not breathing life into every little feeling. The like, two times in my life that I’ve managed to shut my mouth through discomfort, it went away much quicker! Who knew being a drama queen only attracts more drama?! ~~
So much I want to say about that Euphoria piece, specifically the “no Emmy is worth the turmoil". I think I'm coming from this perspective as a former ~theater kid~, but the job of the actor is to tell a story. This is what actor's do, and this is what Zendaya is doing incredibly well. There are countless plays and musicals where actors are delivering these type of difficult scenes, 7 or 8 times a week. Je suis frustrated.