Listening to: “In My Dreamz” by Champagne Drip ft. Linney. Is it just me, or does some of his music give B*ssnectar vibes? You know, that alleged abuser we all followed around the country with cult-like devotion? I say “we all” as if you guys were also spun out wooks for some three years of your life. I could write a book about all the artists I’ve loved who turned out to be monsters, but for now, I’ll just lament to some atmospheric music.
Eating: An Indian feast of chicken makhani, samosa chaat, and naan. This was a $42 Grubhub situation knowing the next couple days are yogurt and soup.
Feeling: 1.) Nervous. At 30 years old, I am finally getting my wisdom teeth out tomorrow. Fun fact: because I’m a mutant, I only have three. And because one is close to a nerve, I’m only having two extracted. Once I’m healed, I’ll start Invisalign to correct my crossbite and lessen some pain and grinding. I’m acting casual like I haven’t spent every waking moment terrified that I won’t wake up from the anesthesia; paranoia is my drug of choice! If you don’t see another essay in your inbox this week, it’s because I have liquefied into the couch with Dune on loop. I always imagined Zendaya would be the last thing I see before I die. <3
2.) Excited. Last week I sat down with my roommate who’s an electronic producer to brainstorm my podcast music. We pulled inspiration from KAYTRANADA, Flume, Against All Logic, etc., so I’m looking forward to a groovy selection of 15-second clips. I’m also planning a photoshoot with his photographer to get some fun shots for branding and launching. Good gut feelings are swirling. I have the rare sense that I’m doing something I’m meant to do (ironic after much resistance).
Thinking: About safetyism after reading this piece shared on Twitter by Red Scare host, Anna Khachiyan. It’s dismissible for many: the writer, the source, and some of the content are glaringly conservative, at moments suspicious. But I thought the general critique of how safetyism manifests from the top down was compelling: institutions offer impersonal support to avoid liability, rather than tangibly protecting the person or groups at risk. It also made me contemplate some modern expressions of peril among elite groups, and how this inundation detracts from the attention we could give actual scenarios of endangerment and insensitivity. What do you guys think? Do you feel safety, like this author argues, has become the highest shared value in American society? And if so, to a detriment or benefit? I see some aspects of safetyism as vital steps in the right direction, but others as grounds for criticism.
Wanting: To interview a sugar baby (or a sex worker of any kind, really). I’ve come to find TikTok a wellspring of candid insight on sex work, and I’d love to do a deep dive with someone for whom it’s their primary source of income. I’ve had a few people respond to my IG post, but if you know someone who’d be a good fit, please pass the word along. This will be anonymous unless requested otherwise.